I Do. 

Who did you marry? 

Did you marry your childhood best friend? Did you marry your high school sweetheart? Or maybe your ex boyfriend’s brother? Whoever you married, how do you know they are the right person for you? 

I was engaged after only 6 short months of dating my now husband of almost 4 years. I was also about 10 weeks pregnant with our first child. Totally surprised both of us, but that’s a story for another time. A lot of you might be quick to judge us and think that we got engaged only because I was pregnant and not because we were so madly deeply in love. 

How madly deeply in love can you be in only 6 months you ask? 

Well, it was simple. We loved one another.  But it was more than love, we made each other better humans. We were kinder, more appropriative of life, more aware of happiness. We found that in each other. 

Countless dates that lasted well over into the next morning. We never seemed to run out of things to talk about! It was amazing. I felt safe and loved, I felt like I belonged with him. 

We took our first over night trip together to U of I mid January 2012. I was so nervous to tell my parents since this was my first ever trip with a boy. I waited all week. Thursday came and I had to tell them. I told them during dinner. Almost choked on my food! But I did it! I said ” so……………(very long pause)………Tommy invited me to visit some of his college friends over the weekend………I’ll be back Sunday.” … I was terrified. My dad didn’t say much more than alright, have fun and be safe. All while my mom gave me the death stare. 

The hard part was over. Friday came and I was all packed up for my first weekend trip with my boyfriend! Waiting impatiently for 6 o’clock to come so I can get off work, into his smart car and make the 3 hour trip down to Champagne Illinois. 

March rolled around and we decided to take a trip to Myrtle Beach 💕 for my birthday and spring break. It was much easier this time around telling my parents. We booked our entire trip and counted down the days! 

We have all heard the saying you don’t really know someone until you have traveled with them! So true!  It’s kind of like temporary living with that person without the commitment. Seeing their habits up close and personal.

So getting back to the whole idea of this…How did we know we were good for each other? How does anyone know they have met the right person. Do we feel it in our hearts? Do we “just” know it some how?! For us, I think we had a good understanding about what we wanted out of life. We both wanted to get married and have children one day. After 6 short months we were faced with the fact that we were going to become parents. The question was are we doing this together or not? While we got nothing but love and support from my parents and brother, his mom and 3 siblings. Some  friends and certain asshole family members doubted us. Saying we are “too young” to have kids, we are not married, we don’t know each other too well yet. All facts. We were barely 22 years old, we were not married AND we had only been dating for 6 months. It was OUR choice to make. We made the right choice. We kept our baby boy, didn’t give him up for adaption like it was unkindly suggested. We did not give up on our growing relationship. We did not give up on our future together. 

I am not saying it was a walk in the park for us, it took a lot of patience, love and hard work to get to where we are now. What got us here is the simple fact that we never gave up! 

October 19, 2013 we said I Do. It was magical and everything we wanted it to be! We had our family and friends there. We had our son there who by that time was just about 9 months old. With tears in his eyes, he read the most beautiful vows I had ever heard. Everything he said made my heart smile. 

Besides being my husband he is also my best friend. He knows all of my secrets. He has been with me through my toughest moments in life. A lot of times I just wanted to give up. But he would pick me back up again. He has seen me in my absolute worst. He held my hand through 2 labors. And although labor is a beautiful thing, it is not pretty! It’s bloody and messy and he was right there holding my hand through all of my pain and suffering, reassuring me I was doing great! He has held my hair while I puke my guts. He supported me through my breastfeeding journey and encouraged ​me to keep it up! Took the crying baby out of my arms while I cried of exhaustion at 3am just so I can sleep for a few hours. Not once, but more times than I can remember! It’s all of this and so much more! 

Waking up ever morning next to that man I fell in love with, I have no regrets! Loving him, makes me stronger! He builds me up and never breaks me down! He laughs with me and he cries with me. Love like ours does exist! I married the right person. I can say that with a hand on my heart, I married right person for me. 
A.B.

Us Before Me

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